its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
