I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
