so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
