this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
