i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
