DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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