I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
