I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
