There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
