how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I am one with the molecules
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
