I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
