naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's official drugs can't kill me
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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