right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
