my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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