Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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