bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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