glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
As shirtless as possible
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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