Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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