allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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