after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
