Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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