if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Randomize
