Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
