Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
should my penis look like a turkey
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My breasts were aching with rage.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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