I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
