It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
