I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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