u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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