the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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