I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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