This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
