So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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