i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
