Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Where did you get a picture of my penis
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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