I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
