Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
