eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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