Nicole vs. Life
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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