I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
