ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
