Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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