this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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