He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
