mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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