I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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