i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
So squirting runs in the family.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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