ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
