I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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