In the future we'll all be gay
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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