I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's never too late to be topless.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
