Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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