Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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