I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
